Where to go from here? What else can I try? When will I ever find a cure? Will I ever find a cure? Am I really going to live in pain for the rest of my life? When will it stop? Can I just have a normal life, please?
I often asked myself those and many other questions during my ten years of suffering from Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. And many years went by before I found answers to them. For a long while, I really believed that I never would. I believe what every doctor told me, that it was only going to get worse.
After trying good old western medicine for five years with no results, I discovered that a diet of non-processed and organic foods, supplements like turmeric, and regular exercise helped me control both conditions a good bit. But they only worked if there wasn't any stressed in my life and at the time I had a small part-time job that wasn't stressful and allowed me to focus on my health. I also lost sixty lbs, which was a big help.
A year later, and because I was feeling better, I decided to give a full-time job a try. My husband and I wanted to buy a house and we knew that his income alone wouldn't be enough, and I barely made anything on my part-time job.
The next four years were the hardest for me because on top of dealing with the fibro, I had developed migraines, plantar fasciitis on my left feet, sinus tarsi on my right, severe knee, neck and shoulder pain, all of which became chronic because it wasn't going away with any kind of treatment.
The chronic fatigue I had was worse than ever, I slept for about twelve hours a day, with enough time to get out of bed and get ready for work then go to bed within half an hour of getting home. I said go to bed cause I didn't usually fall as sleep until about five am and only if I fall asleep because I also had developed insomnia. I manage to gain all the weight back, plus another twenty lbs.
I didn't have the time to focus on my health because I was to damn exhausted all the time. I knew I couldn't live like this any longer.
During the ten years with this condition, I've tried many things that didn't fix me or provided very little or limited relief. So, my mind was convinced that life was just going downhill from here. So I gave up.
I don't want to admit it, no one wants to talk about their weakest moments, even as a write this I don't want to continue.
But the truth is that I had developed a plan to end my life, I figure my husband would be better off without me. Having to go from appointment to appointment had become a big drag and all of the treatments were draining our bank account. I felt that I had become a useless person, with nothing to offer to anyone.
As for the full-time job, the job that I was now stuck in because we had a mortgage to pay, was just one big ball of stress and misery. I didn't have the best attendance record, and FLMA had become my best friend and my worst enemy. I was being discriminated against at work, and the positions that I've applied for were given to people with much much less experience and knowledge than me. It's very tough to see other people get the things that you would've gotten, the life you would be living, had you not been ill.
Before I continue, I must mention that at this point, for the last few months, I had been working for another employer, I had quit the job mentions above because of all of the things that were happening. But the damage was done, and body had enough, and so did my mind. My plan was to take place winter, you see, it needed to be winter because the water would be at it's coldest and I knew hypothermia would set it fast, and I would die fast and would have mo chance to change my mind. I was going to drive to the pond at night when I knew most people would be in bed and I would do it when my husband wasn't home. I would write a note cause I wouldn't want to just disappear.
Reading this to yourself, you might think it sounds selfish, and I get why people would think that way. But never for a second did I think that killing myself was for my benefit, I really believed that it was the best thing I could do for everyone else in my life. And I am sure that others that have been in the same position than me had felt the same way.
My plan was to take place either on the day of the tenth year anniversary or shortly after, which was in was in November. I planned a kick-ass birthday for me in September and I was planning on visiting my family before then to see them one last time. A week before my birthday, my husband was listening to a radio show called Space Out Radio, and the had a guess named Chris Lee who was a hypnotherapist form Canada and talked about how past life regression has helped many of his clients with ailments and Fibromyalgia being one of them. My husband begged me to listen and to schedule an appointment with him asap. I listen to Chris' interview and even though I was still very skeptical about it, I made an appointment and three days before my birthday I had the session.
The rest, like they say, it's history. Never did I expected that I would have gotten the results I got. Never. I was expecting it to be nothing more than entertainment. But that wasn't my experience. What I experience can only make sense to you, dear reader, if you have had a regression before. What I saw, what I felt and the results I got are as real as the keyboard I am using to type this up. Some of you believe me because you yourself have experience something this powerful and to you I say, thank you! Thank you for reading my story. For those of you that don't, that's OK, you don't have to believe me, you have to experience it for yourself I get it. Most people are skeptics, I was once, so no judgments here, but if you have already tried it all like me, then why not give Past Life Regression a try? It changed my life and the lives of thousand of others, so what are you waiting for?
P.S.
I've been getting asked what things did I tried in the past, so here is a list of the ones that I can remember at the time of this posting (I know there is more):
Physical therapy (on five different occasions)
Medicines including pain, muscle relaxers, and anxiety/depression meds.
Psychologist and psychiatrists
Acupuncture
Herbal medicine and treatments
Pain management physicians
Bowenwork
Reiki
Energy work
Massage Therapy
Gel and lotions for pain, such as icy hot, tiger balm and capsaicin cream.
Love and Light,
Tania
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